Ashes and Wine
by ammeehhh
Summary: Small one-shots of scenes between Damon and Elena, and what Damon was thinking...
1. Ashes and Wine

"Did you know he was wearing the ring?" Elena finally asked.

It was the million dollar question. 

_You could lie and she would never be the wiser._

The look on her face stopped that train of thought. She looked sincere, honest, so entirely un-Katherine like that it froze him in his place.

He couldn't lie, no matter how much he wished she didn't have this effect on him.

The truth was the only option left, other than kill her before she could hear an answer, and let's face it, Stefan wouldn't enjoy that.

_Neither would you. _

"No, I didn't. But, Elena, I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been," Damon confessed, honestly.

She grimaced as she processed his answer. She looked up at him again. For the first time since they'd met, he couldn't read her face, and it scared him.

"Thank you for being honest with me. And I have an answer to your question about our friendship. The answer is yes. You have lost me forever," Elena said bitterly.

What a witty line. If he wasn't the one standing on this porch, losing the only friend he had, he would laugh.

She was full of bitter determination. She had no desire to forgive him, nor did she ever.

"You knew that before our little trip though, didn't you? I thought 'friends don't manipulate friends'?" Damon asked.

He could feel the anger pulsating through him. He wanted her to hurt like he did.

He knew there was only one thing he could say to hurt her, something she dreaded, hated.

"I guess you are like Katherine after all," he accused.

Elena's face was immediately hurt. He turned and walked down the steps of the porch and into the darkness.

He knew if he turned around he would regret it. He could feel her guilt and regret, but he didn't care, he couldn't.

This Damon didn't care about anyone or anything. It was suddenly easier to remember why he stopped caring a long time ago.

* * *

So this was just a little idea about what was going on in Damon's head at the end of episode 2x03...I hate the way things are between Delena right now ='( What do you guys think? Reviews are love.


	2. I Was Wrong

He wasn't sure what made him do it. Maybe it was the unspoken gratitude in her eyes as she hugged his brother, thanking him for saving her. Or maybe the fact that she had come so close tonight, so close to dying, that he couldn't risk losing her without telling her the truth first. All that mattered as he sat on the seat beside her window was that he was here, and that there was no turning back now.

He listened to her calculated breathing. He wondered if she knew that he was here, or if she even cared, and he hated her for it. He hated her for making him feel, making him care. He hated her for knowing the affect she had on him. Most of all he hated her for letting him love her. But more than any hatred he had ever felt, for anyone, that bitch Katherine included, was love. The kind of love he'd never felt before, the kind that made his heart almost explode, like some sort of ironic Grinch. The kind he had to let go of before it killed him.

He watched as she took heavy, drowsy steps towards her bed, not yet seeing him. He gathered his thoughts and made his presence known.

"Cute pjs."

Elena froze as she caught sight of him, clearly not in the mood for more excitement tonight. He smiled to try and calm her.

"I'm tired, Damon," she sighed. He stood, Elena's necklace dangling from his hand. He had brought it for her, knowing as a gift from Stefan, it held meaning for her. It burned his mind just to think Stefan's name. But he didn't hate his brother. On the contrary. Everything he had done, and was doing, was to protect him.

"I brought you this," he said as he held it up for her to see, her surprise obvious.

"I thought that was gone." she stated, unsure of his motives, but happy to see it nonetheless.

Damon shook his head, and it hurt. It hurt to be here.

"Thank you," she said as she reached for the necklace. Damon pulled him hand back, as if the thought of her touch burned him. For the first time in years, he felt sadness, real sadness.

The two shared a look, both afraid of where this was going. Elena's confusion was masked with suspicion, and her brown eyes burned into his. He wanted to just spit it out, but the words burned in his throat.

"Please give it back."

Their eyes never left one another's.

"I just have to say something..." Damon trailed off as he took a step forward. Elena drew a deep breath and recoiled back, as if in fear.

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?"

He paused to think. This wasn't the way this should happen. But it was the only way that it wouldn't kill them both.

"Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life," he winced in anticipation of Elena's response.

Elena drew in a deep breath, softly shaking her head. "Damon, don't go there."

He stepped forward towards her, moving until he was face to face with her. This time she didn't move back from him or step away. He couldn't tell if that was a positive of negative sign.

"I just have to say it once, you just need to hear it," he said. _I just need you to hear it. To know for at least one moment, you knew that I loved you. To feel for a few seconds that I had some semblance of a chance of you loving me back_.

"I love you, Elena."

She didn't recoil in disgust or gasp in surprise. She had known before his saying how he felt about her, subtlety was not in his vocabulary when it came to her. He know she knew, but he also knew that hearing him say those words would tear her apart. It was hard enough with knowing vampires existed and already choosing to love one. Three was in deed becoming a crowd.

"And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. And why you can't know this," his voice was becoming thick with emotion, but he went on, swallowing his feelings the best he could in order to get it out.

"I don't deserve you. But my brother does." He leaned forward to kiss her forehead. Even in the swirl of emotions going on inside him, his disappointment stuck out most. He was disappointed she hadn't tried to speak, to tell him that he did deserve her. Elena who had always given him the benefit of the doubt, always trusted him even when his actions didn't merit it. However, her reaction hadn't surprised him. He had expected to be let down. It just wasn't in the cards for him to get the girl. Not last time and not this time.

Elena drew in a breath and audibly swallowed, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. It appeared that she felt his disappointment, his heartbreak just as much as he did. "God, I wish you didn't have to forget this," he choked out, for a second losing his façade. Elena's brow scrunched in confusion, clearly not having yet deciphered what had been his plan all along. His thumb stroked the side of her face while his fingertips brushed through her hair, memorizing its softness and how close they were at that moment.

He stared into her eyes as she stared back. "But you do," he whispered as his pupils dilated, and a stray tear made a pathway down his cheek. Her pupils dilated in response to his compulsion, and as she closed her eyes, he blurred away. She no longer had a choice to make, he had made it for her. He had given her a way out and taken all the heat upon himself. He left her confused no doubt, but with a heart in much better condition than his own.

**Author's Note:**

**My god, this has been sitting on my computer forever, and I thought what the hell, might as well post it. Hope you like it!**


End file.
